My Little Panty Rotator In Training

Yeah doesn't quite have the same ring to it as "Little Barefoot Contessa", does it?

There are lots of ways that Ruby and I are very different - her love of animals, her love of bugs, her love of Carnies. But there are a few things that Ruby does that so remind me of me it's a little scary.

She definitely has an anal streak in her something fierce. Case in point: we spent an hour and a half (yes, that's right) reading books at the library this morning. They have a little book shelf that you can take books out of and they don't need to go back in exactly the right place; it's really nice for kids to just grab some and read. Well, we went through a 3-foot stack of those books. And after every book we read, they had to be put into a stack beside us. But not a haphazard stack - oh no. This stack had to be "just so", each book being placed there (by Ruby) with the greatest of care (by Ruby). None could be crooked. All lined up.

There was another little girl there reading by herself and she was just chuckin' the books on the floor when she was done. Ruby actually went and picked those ones up and put them back once she left. She kept looking over at them laying on the floor, it apparently driving her crazy. I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE SHE GETS THIS FROM.

Once things have been done one way once, they have to be done that same way every time. She just got a new bed and at the end of it, it has a little shelf to put books or toys on. The first day we set it up, Chris just threw a bunch of her toys on the end just to fill it up. Those toys will forever belong there now. NO ONE CAN MOVE THESE TOYS.

And when she so helpfully helps me in the kitchen, the cupboard doors must be closed immediately. Sometimes I can barely get things out of them before she's already closing them. If the hall closet door is open for whatever reason and she's running past, she'll close it, even if she wasn't the one to open it.

I really love these things about her. Even though they sometimes drive me a little crazy, I can respect her need for order. For routine. The only person I feel really sorry for is Chris. He thought it was bad when he was just living with one of me. Now there's two people telling him to shut the cupboard doors or put things back in the drawer or keep the toys organized, for Pete's sake!. Poor man. Poor, poor man indeed.

The Pregnancy Files: Thankful Edition

I am 6 1/2 months preggo which means I have hit the third trimester of bliss. This is the part where putting lotion on my legs causes my heartrate to skyrocket and by the time I'm done, I am breathing like I just ran a marathon.

This child is already firmly planted in the "Big Stinker" category of life. He/she is a wild one of kicks and jabs and jolts of epic proportion. I seriously could not take a nap the other day he was kicking so violently. I know, I bet you feel REALLY sorry for me that I couldn't get a nap in, right? You should.

Lately, though, I've been thinking a lot. And for a pregnant woman, this is sometimes as hard as putting lotion on her legs. But I was thinking of this pregnancy and Ruby and how utterly and completely thankful I am for every single jab, ache, breath, and pain. I have friends literally all over the world who would love the feeling of a nice kick in their gut. We have friends in Russia, England, Charlotte, Winkler, and beyond that have never known that morning sickness feeling, or the heartburn or the feeling of holding a warm baby fresh from your womb. Friends that would (and have in some cases) done everything possible to make those dreams come true. Friends that have stayed faithful to the promises God gave them that they would one day have their own baby to hold, whether it be from their womb or a borrowed one. I admire their faithfulness and know that my road has not been an easy one either but the Lord has blessed me more than I could've asked for already.

I wrote about my 4th miscarriage awhile back but after the 5th one, I went to see a specialist. And she told me that it could be some genetic abnormality that Chris and I together have a hard time creating a child together. I would have to have one more miscarriage before they would do the actual genetic testing that is required to confirm this but this is likely what the problem has been. This news came a day before our 10th anniversary and was sort of a kick in the gut itself. "Happy 10 years of marital bliss! You're genetically incompatible!" We wondered if Ruby was some abnormality because she was normal - that maybe another child would never happen to us and Ruby was just our one and only miracle.

But little did we know that this news also came on a day when I was technically already pregnant and didn't know it yet. That this SECOND miracle baby was already growing inside of me and that a few months from then, I would get to SEE the beauty of what was (and is as far as I know) a healthy fetus on the monitor - so beautifully precious in every way.

And as uncomfortable as pregnancy can be sometimes and as much as I "complain" about it all, there is not one day in the last 6 1/2 months I would trade for anything. Not one barf, not one heartburn episode, not one headache would I trade for the chance that I, Lord willing, will soon have the chance to hold a second one of my miracles in my arms.

I may never get to casually chat about how many children I'll have or want and I might never take a pregnancy test again with only the feeling of joy alone in my heart, but I DO get to watch Ruby everyday amazing the pants off of me with her brilliance and beauty. And hopefully soon, I will get to watch another little one doing the same.